too bad you live with your parents still
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
