We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
