he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize