i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
