Whod you bang
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
tell me about the fingering
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