girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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