Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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