Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Dick very happy bro
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
