Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
