i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
