I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
