What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
