Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
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