using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
