i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
