did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
one two three fourrrrnication!
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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