what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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