Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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