he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
