He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
