we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Please don't give away my fajitas
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