I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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