Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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