You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
