C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
