1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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