sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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