Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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