I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
