This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
