If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
