Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
