She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
