Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
where am i from again
Do vagina's smell?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
