well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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