i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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