You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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