Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
