so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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