She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You took a bar mat shot.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
