pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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