My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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