I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
