i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I checked into jail on foursquare
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
NoShamevember. You game?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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