I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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