last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
