she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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