Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize