So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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