he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
