I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
