During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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