You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize