He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Randomize
