btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
