i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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