After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
