i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
