So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
