just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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