just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
