just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
