Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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